For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The Olympian is in my bed
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize