we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
