why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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