he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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