To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
