Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
