where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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