my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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