i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
