I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
