she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
