okay pat passed out under dana's car
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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