dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
