i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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