Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
