new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
