at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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