honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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