tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
