Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
