Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
