just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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