So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
you never un-have a 4some
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
