Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
