This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
