i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
