You don't have asthma, your pregnant
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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