wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
