4 words: hood of his car
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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