I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
