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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She's the barista slut.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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