do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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