Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
