the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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