Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
