Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
