Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
