Betty ford says i'm here all night
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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