Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Randomize
