My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
