Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
