my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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