every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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