so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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