Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
