Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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