idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
