If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
