but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
