you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
