your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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