at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
