I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
