They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
