i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize