Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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