ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize