You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
